At long last! The U. S. Zodiac Investor’s Report is ready!

Exciting? Yes! But hang on, folks. Before you get caught up in all the fanfare and knee-jerk a mouse click adding this to your Cart, let us first be clear as to what USZ’s Investor’s Report is and is not.

Starting with what it is not, the USZ Investor’s Report will in no way whatsoever help you manifest abundance while sipping soy lattes and sending good vibes to the trees and the little birdies nesting therein. The USZ Investor’s Report is not a balm for people who suffer from some irrational guilt over succeeding in free enterprise. If you’re the type of person who values ESG over profits, or who is looking to achieve some sort of zen-like state during active market trading hours, you should probably move on. Go spend your money elsewhere. Otherwise you’ll be disappointed by what you receive, and we’ll be frustrated by your subsequent whining.

In our opinion, the sum of U. S. Zodiac’s Investor’s Report constitutes an esoteric edge. It is an astrological interpretation of the unique path laid before you at the time of your birth, and in that, an effort at assessing the latitude and limitations of that unique path, and then based upon that assessment, the forecasting of those times of latitude and limitation. This report is about money – making money, building your fortune and protecting what you’ve fought to win. It’s about knowing when to go horns in, and conversely, when to charge at full speed, horns out. In brief, the U. S. Zodiac Investor’s Report is astrology for winners. The USZ/IR is a report delivered to you via email (in pdf format) that you can use as a guide to maximizing those moments of good fortune, as well as for mitigating those times when the Universe is simply up to no good, and with malice aforethought, meddles in your financial affairs. You can print this report and write on it, taking notes as you plan your offense and defense.

The USZ/IR is based upon the client’s specific birth time, and is thus completely unique. Every effort is made within these personalized reports to avoid using astrology-specific jargon, as well as to just simply get to the point. Keyword: brevity. Thus, if you’re expecting a tome containing page after page of filler and fluff, you’ll either be disappointed or pleasantly surprised. We’re expecting the latter, as over the years our market research has demonstrated that our type of clients are not interested in becoming astrologers so as to understand an astrology report, nor are they so unsophisticated so as to not recognize when someone is attempting to impress them with smoke and mirrors. In other words, all the fat has been trimmed. In delivering the astrological information the style is classical, and the language spoken here is a strident and ungentle form of “Western absolute.” Thus, an astrological influence is interpreted as being either good or bad, and there is no frustration to the reader due to New Age ambiguity. We’re not big on emotional hand holding here. So, understand that, unless it pertains to a stellar influence yielding something like a period of heightened intuition regarding making money, or an ability to follow one’s business-related “gut instincts” with confidence, there will be no interpretation or commentary on the client’s “feelings” nor (and especially) on other sappy things like “spiritual growth.”

The bottom line is that the U. S. Zodiac Investor’s Report is intended to deliver in accord with our company’s motto: Insight, answers.

In our interpretation of the stars, U. S. Zodiac employs Western, tropical astrology, exclusively, and leans heavily on ancient and medieval methods, synthesized with some modern, and proprietary, techniques.

Labor intensive, the cost of a 12-month report is $600 (not including tax) and covers twelve or more hours of assessment and interpretation. Deliverables include an easy-to-read, layperson’s-terms written forecast spanning the 12-month period, thus supplying the client with a guide to the stellar influences indicating those times when it is wise to invest, along with those times when speculation is most likely to yield profits. (Investing and speculating are two different categories, astrologically.) Likewise, the forecast will indicate those times when it is best to sit on the sidelines or to take a defensive position. The purchase of the 12-month report includes a 30-minute telephone consultation (any long-distance charges will be the burden of the client).

An accurate birth day, time and place is prerequisite for this report.

As is customary in Western culture an introductory discount is being offered for this new USZ product and it begins with 25% off the 12-month report for first time purchasers, and an additional 25% off on subsequent 12-month reports ordered at that same time (up to a total of seven 12-month reports, or out to year 2030). This is a limited time offer, and with the discount the cost of the first 12-month report is reduced to $450 (plus tax) and subsequent 12-month reports are then reduced to $337.50 (plus tax).

For those men and women who would prefer to test the waters with a smaller investment, a 3-month report is available for $150 (this does not include tax and no discount is available). The cost of this report includes a 15-minute phone consultation (any long distance phone charges will be the burden of the client).

Again, an accurate birth day, time and place is prerequisite for this report.

NOTICE: Purchasers of USZ reports must be at least 18 years of age and possess accurate birth information (month, day, year, time and place). Estimated delivery times will vary by caseload and will be quoted at the time of initial inquiry or product purchase. Reports begin for any given month on the day of your birth, i.e., if you are born on January 15, a report that begins during the month of August will begin on August 15. Please specify when ordering the month and year you want the report to begin. If subsequent 12-month reports are ordered, unless otherwise specified, it will be assumed that the subsequent reports begin at the end of the preceding 12-month report, and so on.

Interested parties should begin by navigating to the Contact page and making an inquiry.

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